#thesunproject109
HERE’S MY STORY:
So not too long ago, i’d say around January of last year, I had wanted to be a model. Specifically, a Victoria’s Secret model. Long before this, I had always hated my body and face and i had horrible self confidence. I would criticize every thing i did. I’ve never been the sporty type or the talented one so i always told myself: you have no strength, nothing that you’re good at. You’re useless. Then after seeing all these models being so perfect and skinny and beautiful, it made my confidence even lower. This is when i told myself: Kate, you are so ugly. You are so fat. Why don’t you look like them? So i had had enough of myself feeling this way so I decided to lose weight. The first week went awesome! I ate SO healthy, worked out everyday, and by the end of the week i had lost 4 pounds!!! I was so happy! So proud of myself! After that, i promise myself that i only needed to lose 3 more pounds till i got to my goal weight ( 100 pounds ). I promised my boyfriend that i would stop at once i reached that goal and he was kinda hesitant but he believed and trusted me. A few months later, i had lost 3 extra pound and i had reached my goal! But then, i got into a depressed state. I judged myself even more. I couldnt stand to look at myself in the mirror. So i told myself " OK 5 more pounds wont hurt anyone."  The first 2 extra pounds came off quick. but the last 3? they took forever. By now, i was 98 pounds, 5’4, and 14 years old. I had a bmi of 16.8. Very underweight. There was no stopping me now. I starved myself, ate very little portions, and hated everything that had to do with food. I ate around 500 calories a day, and burnt off more than twice that amount each day. My boyfriend got very scared. He was so worried. I told him there was nothing to worry about. I was wrong. 2 more pounds shed and i was 96 pounds. I had never thought i’d be 96 pounds. i was actually very happy. Now my bmi is 16.5. Dangerous. My parents had noticed how much weight i had lost and how thin i looked, and they took me to a doctor. She told me i had a eating disorder. She never told me which specific disorder. Then i was sent to a ED clinic at my local hospital. That’s when they diagnosed me with anorexia. It was so hard telling my boyfriend. I knew it would break his heart but i had to tell him. I told him and he was very very scared. But he always told me ” we will get through this” so i believed him. After months of tough recovery, i had gained all my weight back, but boy it was not easy for me. Still i go to the doctor to get check ups ( which ive sworn to myself that im never going back there again) But i am recovered from the demon that had taken over me.
Chris never left my side throughout all of this. That is why i love him with all of my heart. I will forever love him and there will always be a place in my heart for him. He is the reason that i am still alive today.
So this is getting really long and you’re probably so bored reading this, but i thought i’d share my story with all of you.
To everyone who’s gone or going through anything tough like this: Just remember, you are perfect. You are worth it. And i love you. 
- with love,
Kate xox <3

#thesunproject109

HERE’S MY STORY:


So not too long ago, i’d say around January of last year, I had wanted to be a model. Specifically, a Victoria’s Secret model. Long before this, I had always hated my body and face and i had horrible self confidence. I would criticize every thing i did. I’ve never been the sporty type or the talented one so i always told myself: you have no strength, nothing that you’re good at. You’re useless. Then after seeing all these models being so perfect and skinny and beautiful, it made my confidence even lower. This is when i told myself: Kate, you are so ugly. You are so fat. Why don’t you look like them? So i had had enough of myself feeling this way so I decided to lose weight. The first week went awesome! I ate SO healthy, worked out everyday, and by the end of the week i had lost 4 pounds!!! I was so happy! So proud of myself! After that, i promise myself that i only needed to lose 3 more pounds till i got to my goal weight ( 100 pounds ). I promised my boyfriend that i would stop at once i reached that goal and he was kinda hesitant but he believed and trusted me. A few months later, i had lost 3 extra pound and i had reached my goal! But then, i got into a depressed state. I judged myself even more. I couldnt stand to look at myself in the mirror. So i told myself " OK 5 more pounds wont hurt anyone."  The first 2 extra pounds came off quick. but the last 3? they took forever. By now, i was 98 pounds, 5’4, and 14 years old. I had a bmi of 16.8. Very underweight. There was no stopping me now. I starved myself, ate very little portions, and hated everything that had to do with food. I ate around 500 calories a day, and burnt off more than twice that amount each day. My boyfriend got very scared. He was so worried. I told him there was nothing to worry about. I was wrong. 2 more pounds shed and i was 96 pounds. I had never thought i’d be 96 pounds. i was actually very happy. Now my bmi is 16.5. Dangerous. My parents had noticed how much weight i had lost and how thin i looked, and they took me to a doctor. She told me i had a eating disorder. She never told me which specific disorder. Then i was sent to a ED clinic at my local hospital. That’s when they diagnosed me with anorexia. It was so hard telling my boyfriend. I knew it would break his heart but i had to tell him. I told him and he was very very scared. But he always told me ” we will get through this” so i believed him. After months of tough recovery, i had gained all my weight back, but boy it was not easy for me. Still i go to the doctor to get check ups ( which ive sworn to myself that im never going back there again) But i am recovered from the demon that had taken over me.

Chris never left my side throughout all of this. That is why i love him with all of my heart. I will forever love him and there will always be a place in my heart for him. He is the reason that i am still alive today.


So this is getting really long and you’re probably so bored reading this, but i thought i’d share my story with all of you.

To everyone who’s gone or going through anything tough like this: Just remember, you are perfect. You are worth it. And i love you. 

- with love,

Kate xox <3

423 notes
tags: mine. thesunproject109. my story. love.

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